Rock

To Bike Mechanic,

(20 mins and I still don't know what I am writing so I'm just going to write.)

You are many colours and yet can be cold and rough like a rock.

Yesterday, you really wanted to go hillwalking. I deliberately went for a much desired nap, I got up and still you wanted to go. I grudgingly drove back home to get my Wellies and jacket in  hope that the lateness would put you off. Still you wanted to go.

By the time we got to the hill it was 7pm. You still wanted to go. I knew you were stubborn and you really are indeed.

It was peaceful and fresh. In my head I found it difficult and uneasy because it was all "dirty". Nevertheless, I tried to hide it and followed your foot step. The moths and insects buzzing past me made it even more uncomfortable.

Heading back was simply dire. You choose a route where the footpath was hardly clear, green things whipping my cheeks, rubber soles can barely grip the new path. It felt like you were pushing my tolerance, trying to break me. I wanted to scream at you especially at your lack of consideration when you knew This was not my comfort zone!

I looked. I took notice. You stopped after speeding ahead at 4 metres away. Waiting me. Everytime I caught up, your eyes smiled and then you would slowly be 4 metres ahead.

This time, I noticed. I realised. This was your comfortable place. This is your place when you want to get away from everything- the bad stuff, the heart aches, the pain.. This is the place where I will find you.

I was the insensitive and inconsiderate one.

Perhaps it time for me to stop focussing on myself because that's clearly not working out for anyone. I've spent so long trying to figure and define myself that it's really doing the opposite.

Let me hold your hand.

Cookie xxx