5 months on

Dear Time,

Last time I blogged was in July and since then I guess, a lot of happened. I never realised until a friend asked me what's been happening to me in the past year... I couldn't answer. Not because I wasn't proud but quite honestly, it hasn't been a good year for me and in a sense it has been because of the downs. (All about the balance).

So let's see what has happened.

• My own family bullied me to fix my Uncle's lack of input, unfinsihed projects and mistakes so I left and I was deemed childish. My own mother didn't even bother to contact me, instead she just shouted at me for not helping yet it was fine that her own brother who got them all in a mess to do nothing or fix it. Family Politics has what turned into a Stewing Pot of Gravy. What's family without the drama?
• Had the best job ever - worked on Commonwealth 2014 wtih Sky Sports. I never thought highly of myself but the Sky team gave me a promotion! I didn't do much. Most definitely a confident boost.
• At this high point, I pummetted into the low point as I found out that my best friend past away. (50p Backstory) This was during the Commonwealth 2014 and I was given a 50p by a colleague. It was His missing 50p... He was such a good person, always had the time to listen to my problems whether it be via lunch or whatsapp there was always time. I remember when he was running late and I knew he had a meeting later so I told him that we could reschedule because I knew lateness leads to being flustered therefore not good for meetings but he insisted because "if we reschedule then it will constantly be rescheduled and meeting with friends is more important". Most importantly, we shared our problems and he valued me in many aspects as a person, academic colleague and friend. He was actually another person who thought I would do much more with myself but nonetheless he never commented on my strays because I was a happy. Now, I feel a bit lost, who do I go to?
• Got my own flat. It's quite a bit lonely but I do like my space. Mechanic Boy keeps moving my stuff!!!
• Scooter/ Moped is my best Flatmate. The adventure we had was hilarious mainly because it was illegal across the board and reflecting back - how daring was I! Now I'm stripping it naked and so I'm learning about each part. The guys at work has given me tips about it.
• In a new job which links back to my academic background. It's very interesting but the company is such a mess. As well as being stressful because of the non-existence of any structure, it gives me the opportunity to put in place of my ideas and knowledge. In addition, there's quite a bit of career opportunity for me so the future is bright and obviously up to me to do something. I just need to put a plan in place. To be honest, everything leads to something its whether you want that path. End of the day, I enjoy it and I actually find the problem quite interestingly challenging and really up for it.
• Had two bumps with the car, both times not my fault. Scary stuff. All sorted though.
• Not been sleeping well. It's all good now because I know why therefore I know how to fix it.
• Realised that compared to friends I know quite a bit about maintaining vehicles and insurance, etc., I worry about them at times especially what they do. Previously, I thought I looked bad because I have a wealth of experience but career-wise, I haven't got it compared to them. Turns out that experience can't be compared, we are all independant in our own ways.

I guess that's about it. To answer my friend's question: what I have been up to the past year, is that I've had quite an emotional experience.

Apparently 2015 doesn't get better for me.


Help me maintain a positive attitude.

Not Quite Homesick

Dear friends,
Originally, I created this blog as a way of sharing my journey to getting into the industry. It's almost 2 months since I "impulsively moved" and to be honest, my life has turned into a routine mainly because I have to travel 1.5hours to and fro work. There's also a barrier- no bus back home after 9pm. Thus, I have to be really strict with time. Everyday after work, all you will see is me weaving in and out of the zombies!! Really frustrating as "I'm rushing to get people!" I'm getting fit so I can't complain, I can get to the top the stairs faster than taking the escalators.

Anyhow, I wouldn't say I am settled. The hardest thing for me is the feeling of being lonely. I have relatives who are all amazing and support in every way possible to make my life easier but at the end of the day they are my relatives (its written in the blood or something). None of this occured to me until my aunt told me that I would be having dinner alone. The action of eating alone is fine, it was more the realisation that without my family and workplace I have nothing else. This is why I don't miss home, I miss the people.

I guess recently the feeling has been getting stronger because my two friends, The Twins, left to go back home. However the younger one wanted to stay so I really do hope he gets a job here. A newly acquainted friend is helping him get his butt over.

I'm sure everything will be fine, its a matter of time and I have been really scarily lucky. I am based in a company with a friend, Mr Silver Suit, all my friends from everywhere (Mr Lawyer, Mr Monster Truck, Mr Skinny, Miss French, Miss Crow, Twins, Miss Turkey...) are really supportive. I think in order to pursue your dreams you really need a good support network.

I WILL NOT LET YOU GUYS DOWN!! (however in the meantime, someone bombard me with readable, entertaining emails! Mornings are so boring! And Twin get your sorry butt here, SueShine misses pestering you!)

Rainy day with lightning (so appropriate in describing my feeling)